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About Literature / Artist haileyFemale/Canada Recent Activity
Deviant for 8 Years
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Artist | Literature
Current Residence: Home
Favourite genre of music: Indie/Alternative/Oldies/JapaneseScreamo
Favourite photographer: Byouin and Random-clam!! XD
Personal Quote: "Life is just what happens to you, while you're busy making other plans." -JL
Dear: :iconrandom-clam:
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm selling myself. I think I realized it when I saw the shrunken head under a state of trance and I saw you pull the clothes off my father(ee-uuww!). I'm sure you're senile enough to understand that I did a sex-change. I'm returning your memories from the military service to you, but I'll keep my virginity as a memory. (WHAT?!?!?) You should also know that I never will forget eggplant-fetishism...
Go burn,


How To:

Dear (the last person who left a comment on your journal):

I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___ .

-Your name-

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kabob - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In woman's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family
  • Listening to: planning class
  • Reading: "budget assignment"
  • Watching: planning teacher

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Add a Comment:
sexnotfound Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2009
if you like erotic stories, check him out :)
thebjoernsons Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2009
Thank you a lot for the fave :shamrock:! Your support is most aprecciated dear <3!
Abused-Innocence Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the watch on June second.
kyaneyoko Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2009   Writer
haha no problem!
Abused-Innocence Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yumiko-Kato Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2009
Thank you for the fav! :)
thebjoernsons Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2009
Ricard miguelanxo
thebjoernsons Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2009
I'm sorry.. i've just seen a photo of that guy and wanted to check if it's aprofessional model and the I wrote it here :S I'm a bit confused :D. Actually I wanted to thank you for the favourite <3 ;).
kyaneyoko Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2009   Writer
ooohhh haha!
Man I assumed you were just saying Thank You in a different language.
How ditsy does that sound?
Anyways, you're welcome! You totally deserve it lol :aww:
thebjoernsons Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2009
haha :D :rofl:
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